Lately I’ve become a lot more involved with the expat scene. Part of it is wanting to improve my career chances, but a lot of it is wanting to see what other expats are up to and just learning about our community which contributes a lot to the vibrancy of London.
At one event organised by the New Zealand Business Women’s Network, I sat down next to Elizabeth Sullivan and asked her what she does. Expecting her to say something like “Head of Communications at …” I received a massive smile followed by the words “I am a love mentor. Nice to meet you.” I was floored. Naturally this turned into how she makes a living from doing what she loves and then I realised I’m probably not the person she should be talking to that evening and suggested we should continue this conversation offline sometime and perhaps I could feature her on my blog.
So here she is. So far in this series we’ve had a cake maker, a ceramics designer, and now a love mentor. See how diverse our expat community can be?
One very warm and sunny afternoon recently, I met up with Elizabeth at my de-facto office space Ozone in Shoreditch. With a bright smile and great hair she walked in and we got straight down to business over green tea and flat whites, talking about London, being an expat, discussing career changes and how on earth one becomes a love mentor. I felt like I was hanging out with one of my cousins from home learning about how life works and gagging to know more.
Elizabeth first moved to the UK in 1999. Prior to that, she studied accounting at university and qualified as a chartered accountant. This kept her in a great living for years but more and more she was becoming interested in how the human mind works so started doing part time courses in coaching, hypnotherapy and neuro linguistic programming. She eventually became a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist (and still lectures hypnotherapy at the London College of Clinical Hypnosis) and now does what she loves: helping people feel happy within themselves so they can (if they wish to) find the right partner to grow old with.
She was moving along quite nicely with the life coaching until one client asked her to help her love life. This lady was 35 and her boyfriend was 50. They’d been together for five years and all she wanted was for him to take the next step. Within three weeks of working with Elizabeth (the lady, not the boyfriend) he had proposed. Elizabeth said it’s about knowing how to use the key to unlock the door. Several years down the line she now has two boys and Elizabeth said attending their wedding was one of the highlights of her career. She continued love mentoring on the side until August 2012, after much client success, she realised she could do this full time and it would make her genuinely fulfilled. She is one of very few people I’ve ever met who does a job they genuinely love to a point where they don’t consider it work.
Elizabeth claims she can help 70-80% of single people and can also speed up the process of moving on from someone. Apparently it doesn’t need to take years, for some of her clients it has just been a few sessions. She has programs ranging from six weeks to six months, many see immediate benefits.
The majority of her clients are successful, attractive, driven, fun and interesting career women who simply haven’t made the time to fall in love. What she finds is that a lot of it comes down to what’s going on inside, they sometimes have barriers that need to be overcome or patterns of dating the wrong people. She helps them be clear about what will make them happy in a relationship, feel more confident when they are dating and also gives tips on how to attract the men they like.
When I asked her what the difference between using The Love Mentor and just signing up to E-Harmony are she stated that they’re very different. She claims she is the connection between online dating and finding the actual right relationship, can help put it together and make it work. She said the majority of her clients know most things intellectually but they’re not physically doing it so she helps them put those together in practice. Essentially she teaches people how to have it all and fill in the blanks.
One major question on my mind was what advice would she give to expats, to those of us who are making a go of it in the UK for our careers/easy access to travel but deep down think we might head home to eventually settle. I had to raise this question with Mr Man once we realised we were heading into something quite good. She said that this issue is a tricky stumbling block that often holds people back and can be used an excuse. Basically you need to be smart about your choices, decide who you want to date (do you want someone from home or someone open to moving there one day or are you happy to eventually settle where you currently are?) and go about looking where you might find them. For example, if you want to settle down with an Antipodean then search out that scene. She said it’s about being strategic and making smart choices.
She also said not to put off love – if you make time for it then it will fit into your busy life. Her advice to my readers was “Late twenties, early thirties is a great time to meet someone. Don’t put pressure on yourself; have fun and enjoy life then you’ll attract the right people. Enjoy yourself, be in the environment where you’re having fun and think about what will make you happy long term.”
Elizabeth uses a combination of therapies to help people find love. Packages start at £500 for a six-week course, however there is a range of options and it is best to contact her if you’d like to hear more. I met Elizabeth purely out of curiosity therefore no incentives were part of featuring her on this blog. http://www.lovementor.com/